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LOVE

“THREE o’clock in the morning. The soft April night is looking in at my windows and caressingly winking at me with its stars. I can’t sleep, I am so happy!

“My whole being from head to heels is bursting with a strange, incomprehensible feeling. I can’t analyse it just now–I haven’t the time, I’m too lazy, and there–hang analysis! Why, is a man likely to interpret his sensations when he is flying head foremost from a belfry, or has just learned that he has won two hundred thousand? Is he in a state to do it?”

This was more or less how I began my love-letter to Sasha, a girl of nineteen with whom I had fallen in love. I began it five times, and as often tore up the sheets, scratched out whole pages, and copied it all over again. I spent as long over the letter as if it had been a novel I had to write to order. And it was not because I tried to make it longer, more elaborate, and more fervent, but because I wanted endlessly to prolong the process of this writing, when one sits in the stillness of one’s study and communes with one’s own day-dreams while the spring night looks in at one’s window. Between the lines I saw a beloved image, and it seemed to me that there were, sitting at the same table writing with me, spirits as naively happy, as foolish, and as blissfully smiling as I. I wrote continually, looking at my hand, which still ached deliciously where hers had lately pressed it, and if I turned my eyes away I had a vision of the green trellis of the little gate. Through that trellis Sasha gazed at me after I had said goodbye to her. When I was saying good-bye to Sasha I was thinking of nothing and was simply admiring her figure as every decent man admires a pretty woman; when I saw through the trellis two big eyes, I suddenly, as though by inspiration, knew that I was in love, that it was all settled between us, and fully decided already, that I had nothing left to do but to carry out certain formalities.

It is a great delight also to seal up a love-letter, and, slowly putting on one’s hat and coat, to go softly out of the house and to carry the treasure to the post. There are no stars in the sky now: in their place there is a long whitish streak in the east, broken here and there by clouds above the roofs of the dingy houses; from that streak the whole sky is flooded with pale light. The town is asleep, but already the water-carts have come out, and somewhere in a far-away factory a whistle sounds to wake up the workpeople. Beside the postbox, slightly moist with dew, you are sure to see the clumsy figure of a house porter, wearing a bell-shaped sheepskin and carrying a stick. He is in a condition akin to catalepsy: he is not asleep or awake, but something between.

If the boxes knew how often people resort to them for the decision of their fate, they would not have such a humble air. I, anyway, almost kissed my postbox, and as I gazed at it I reflected that the post is the greatest of blessings.

I beg anyone who has ever been in love to remember how one usually hurries home after dropping the letter in the box, rapidly gets into bed and pulls up the quilt in the full conviction that as soon as one wakes up in the morning one will be overwhelmed with memories of the previous day and look with rapture at the window, where the daylight will be eagerly making its way through the folds of the curtain.

Well, to facts. . . . Next morning at midday, Sasha’s maid brought me the following answer: “I am delited be sure to come to us to day please I shall expect you. Your S.”

Not a single comma. This lack of punctuation, and the misspelling of the word “delighted,” the whole letter, and even the long, narrow envelope in which it was put filled my heart with tenderness. In the sprawling but diffident handwriting I recognised Sasha’s walk, her way of raising her eyebrows when she laughed, the movement of her lips. . . . But the contents of the letter did not satisfy me. In the first place, poetical letters are not answered in that way, and in the second, why should I go to Sasha’s house to wait till it should occur to her stout mamma, her brothers, and poor relations to leave us alone together? It would never enter their heads, and nothing is more hateful than to have to restrain one’s raptures simply because of the intrusion of some animate trumpery in the shape of a half-deaf old woman or little girl pestering one with questions. I sent an answer by the maid asking Sasha to select some park or boulevard for a rendezvous. My suggestion was readily accepted. I had struck the right chord, as the saying is.

Between four and five o’clock in the afternoon I made my way to the furthest and most overgrown part of the park. There was not a soul in the park, and the tryst might have taken place somewhere nearer in one of the avenues or arbours, but women don’t like doing it by halves in romantic affairs; in for a penny, in for a pound–if you are in for a tryst, let it be in the furthest and most impenetrable thicket, where one runs the risk of stumbling upon some rough or drunken man. When I went up to Sasha she was standing with her back to me, and in that back I could read a devilish lot of mystery. It seemed as though that back and the nape of her neck, and the black spots on her dress were saying: Hush! . . . The girl was wearing a simple cotton dress over which she had thrown a light cape. To add to the air of mysterious secrecy, her face was covered with a white veil. Not to spoil the effect, I had to approach on tiptoe and speak in a half whisper.

From what I remember now, I was not so much the essential point of the rendezvous as a detail of it. Sasha was not so much absorbed in the interview itself as in its romantic mysteriousness, my kisses, the silence of the gloomy trees, my vows. . . . There was not a minute in which she forgot herself, was overcome, or let the mysterious expression drop from her face, and really if there had been any Ivan Sidoritch or Sidor Ivanitch in my place she would have felt just as happy. How is one to make out in such circumstances whether one is loved or not? Whether the love is “the real thing” or not?

From the park I took Sasha home with me. The presence of the beloved woman in one’s bachelor quarters affects one like wine and music. Usually one begins to speak of the future, and the confidence and self-reliance with which one does so is beyond bounds. You make plans and projects, talk fervently of the rank of general though you have not yet reached the rank of a lieutenant, and altogether you fire off such high-flown nonsense that your listener must have a great deal of love and ignorance of life to assent to it. Fortunately for men, women in love are always blinded by their feelings and never know anything of life. Far from not assenting, they actually turn pale with holy awe, are full of reverence and hang greedily on the maniac’s words. Sasha listened to me with attention, but I soon detected an absent-minded expression on her face, she did not understand me. The future of which I talked interested her only in its external aspect and I was wasting time in displaying my plans and projects before her. She was keenly interested in knowing which would be her room, what paper she would have in the room, why I had an upright piano instead of a grand piano, and so on. She examined carefully all the little things on my table, looked at the photographs, sniffed at the bottles, peeled the old stamps off the envelopes, saying she wanted them for something.

“Please collect old stamps for me!” she said, making a grave face. “Please do.”

Then she found a nut in the window, noisily cracked it and ate it.

“Why don’t you stick little labels on the backs of your books?” she asked, taking a look at the bookcase.

“What for?”

“Oh, so that each book should have its number. And where am I to put my books? I’ve got books too, you know.”

“What books have you got?” I asked.

Sasha raised her eyebrows, thought a moment and said:

“All sorts.”

And if it had entered my head to ask her what thoughts, what convictions, what aims she had, she would no doubt have raised her eyebrows, thought a minute, and have said in the same way: “All sorts.”

Later I saw Sasha home and left her house regularly, officially engaged, and was so reckoned till our wedding. If the reader will allow me to judge merely from my personal experience, I maintain that to be engaged is very dreary, far more so than to be a husband or nothing at all. An engaged man is neither one thing nor the other, he has left one side of the river and not reached the other, he is not married and yet he can’t be said to be a bachelor, but is in something not unlike the condition of the porter whom I have mentioned above.

Every day as soon as I had a free moment I hastened to my fiancee. As I went I usually bore within me a multitude of hopes, desires, intentions, suggestions, phrases. I always fancied that as soon as the maid opened the door I should, from feeling oppressed and stifled, plunge at once up to my neck into a sea of refreshing happiness. But it always turned out otherwise in fact. Every time I went to see my fiancee I found all her family and other members of the household busy over the silly trousseau. (And by the way, they were hard at work sewing for two months and then they had less than a hundred roubles’ worth of things). There was a smell of irons, candle grease and fumes. Bugles scrunched under one’s feet. The two most important rooms were piled up with billows of linen, calico, and muslin and from among the billows peeped out Sasha’s little head with a thread between her teeth. All the sewing party welcomed me with cries of delight but at once led me off into the dining-room where I could not hinder them nor see what only husbands are permitted to behold. In spite of my feelings, I had to sit in the dining-room and converse with Pimenovna, one of the poor relations. Sasha, looking worried and excited, kept running by me with a thimble, a skein of wool or some other boring object.

“Wait, wait, I shan’t be a minute,” she would say when I raised imploring eyes to her. “Only fancy that wretch Stepanida has spoilt the bodice of the barège dress!”

And after waiting in vain for this grace, I lost my temper, went out of the house and walked about the streets in the company of the new cane I had bought. Or I would want to go for a walk or a drive with my fiancee, would go round and find her already standing in the hall with her mother, dressed to go out and playing with her parasol.

“Oh, we are going to the Arcade,” she would say. “We have got to buy some more cashmere and change the hat.”

My outing is knocked on the head. I join the ladies and go with them to the Arcade. It is revoltingly dull to listen to women shopping, haggling and trying to outdo the sharp shopman. I felt ashamed when Sasha, after turning over masses of material and knocking down the prices to a minimum, walked out of the shop without buying anything, or else told the shopman to cut her some half rouble’s worth.

When they came out of the shop, Sasha and her mamma with scared and worried faces would discuss at length having made a mistake, having bought the wrong thing, the flowers in the chintz being too dark, and so on.

Yes, it is a bore to be engaged! I’m glad it’s over.

Now I am married. It is evening. I am sitting in my study reading. Behind me on the sofa Sasha is sitting munching something noisily. I want a glass of beer.

“Sasha, look for the corkscrew. . . .” I say. “It’s lying about somewhere.”

Sasha leaps up, rummages in a disorderly way among two or three heaps of papers, drops the matches, and without finding the corkscrew, sits down in silence. . . . Five minutes pass–ten. . . I begin to be fretted both by thirst and vexation.

“Sasha, do look for the corkscrew,” I say.

Sasha leaps up again and rummages among the papers near me. Her munching and rustling of the papers affects me like the sound of sharpening knives against each other. . . . I get up and begin looking for the corkscrew myself. At last it is found and the beer is uncorked. Sasha remains by the table and begins telling me something at great length.

“You’d better read something, Sasha,” I say.

She takes up a book, sits down facing me and begins moving her lips . . . . I look at her little forehead, moving lips, and sink into thought.

“She is getting on for twenty. . . .” I reflect. “If one takes a boy of the educated class and of that age and compares them, what a difference! The boy would have knowledge and convictions and some intelligence.”

But I forgive that difference just as the low forehead and moving lips are forgiven. I remember in my old Lovelace days I have cast off women for a stain on their stockings, or for one foolish word, or for not cleaning their teeth, and now I forgive everything: the munching, the muddling about after the corkscrew, the slovenliness, the long talking about nothing that matters; I forgive it all almost unconsciously, with no effort of will, as though Sasha’s mistakes were my mistakes, and many things which would have made me wince in old days move me to tenderness and even rapture. The explanation of this forgiveness of everything lies in my love for Sasha, but what is the explanation of the love itself, I really don’t know.

PREFATORY NOTE.

MISS FERRIER’S Novels have, since their first appearance, suffered curtailment in all subsequent Editions. The present Edition is the first reprint from the original Editions, and contains the whole of the omissions in other reprints. It is, therefore, the only perfect Edition of these Novels.

Works which have received the praise of Sir Walter Scott and Sir James Mackintosh, and been thought worthy of discussion in the Noctes Ambrosianae, require no further introduction to the reader. The almost exceptional position which they occupy as satirizing the foibles rather than the more serious faults of human nature, and the caustic character of that satire, mingled with such bright wit and genial humour, give Miss Ferrier a place to herself in English fiction; and it is felt that a time has come to recognize this by producing her works in a form which fits them for the library, and in a type which enables them to be read with enjoyment.

G.B.

NEW BURLINGTON STREET,

December, 1881.

MARRIAGE.

CHAPTER I.

“Love!–A word by superstition thought a God; by use turned to an humour; by self-will made a flattering madness.”

Alexander and Campaspe.

“COME hither, child,” said the old Earl of Courtland to his daughter, as, in obedience to his summons, she entered his study; “come hither, I say; I wish to have some serious conversation with you: so dismiss your dogs, shut the door, and sit down here.”

“Lady Juliana rang for the footman to take Venus; bade Pluto be quiet, like a darling, under the sofa; and, taking Cupid in her arms, assured his Lordship he need fear no disturbance from the sweet creatures, and that she would be all attention to his commands–kissing her cherished pug as she spoke.

“You are now, I think, seventeen, Juliana,” said his Lordship in a solemn important tone.

“And a half, papa.”

“It is therefore time you should be thinking of establishing yourself in the world. Have you ever turned your thoughts that way?”

Lady Juliana cast down her beautiful eyes, and was silent.

“As I can give you no fortune,” continued the Earl, swelling with ill-suppressed importance, as he proceeded, “you have perhaps no great pretensions to a very brilliant establishment.”

“Oh! none in the world, papa,” eagerly interrupted Lady Juliana; “a mere competence with the man of my heart.”

“The man of a fiddlestick!” exclaimed Lord Courtland in a fury; “what the devil have you to do with a heart, I should like to know? There’s no talking to a young woman now about marriage, but she is all in a blaze about hearts, and darts, and–and–But hark ye, child, I’ll suffer no daughter of mine to play the fool with her heart, indeed! She shall marry for the purpose for which matrimony was ordained amongst people of birth–that is, for the aggrandisement of her family, the extending of their political influence–for becoming, in short, the depository of their mutual interest. These are the only purposes for which persons of rank ever think of marriage. And pray, what has your heart to say to that?”

“Nothing, papa,” replied Lady Juliana in a faint dejected tone of voice. “Have done, Cupid!” addressing her favourite, who was amusing himself in pulling and tearing the beautiful lace veil that partly shaded the head of his fair mistress.

“I thought not,” resumed the Earl in a triumphant tone–“I thought not, indeed.” And as this victory over his daughter put him in unusual good humour, he condescended to sport a little with her curiosity.

“And pray, can this wonderful wise heart of yours inform you who it is you are going to obtain for a husband?”

Had Lady Juliana dared to utter the wishes of that heart she would have been at no loss for a reply; but she saw the necessity of dissimulation; and after naming such of her admirers as were most indifferent to her, she declared herself quite at a loss, and begged her father to put an end to her suspense.

“Now, what would you think of the Duke of L—?” asked the Earl in a voice of half-smothered exultation and delight.

“The Duke of L—–!” repeated Lady Juliana, with a scream of horror and surprise; “surely, papa, you cannot be serious? Why, he’s red-haired and squints, and he’s as old as you.”

“If he were as old as the devil, and as ugly too,” interrupted the enraged Earl, “he should be your husband: and may I perish if you shall have any other!”

The youthful beauty burst into tears, while her father traversed the apartment with an inflamed and wrathful visage.

“If it had been anybody but that odious Duke,” sobbed the lovely Juliana.

“If it had been anybody but that odious Duke!” repeated the Earl, mimicking her, “they should not have had you. It has been my sole study, ever since I saw your brother settled, to bring about this alliance; and, when this is accomplished, my utmost ambition will be satisfied. So no more whining–the affair is settled; and all that remains for you to do is to study to make yourself agreeable to his Grace, and to sign the settlements. No such mighty sacrifice, me thinks, when repaid with a ducal coronet, the most splendid jewels, the finest equipages, and the largest jointure of any woman in England.”

Lady Juliana raised her head, and wiped her eyes. Lord Courtland perceived the effect his eloquence had produced upon the childish fancy of his daughter, and continued to expatiate upon the splendid joys that awaited her in a union with a nobleman of the Duke’s rank and fortune; till at length, dazzled, if not convinced, she declared herself “satisfied that it was her duty to marry whoever papa pleased; but–” and a sigh escaped her as she contrasted her noble suitor with her handsome lover: “but if I should marry him, papa, I am sure I shall never be able to love him.”

The Earl smiled at her childish simplicity as he assured her that was not at all necessary; that love was now entirely confined to the canaille; that it was very well for ploughmen and dairymaids to marry for love; but for a young woman of rank to think of such a thing was plebeian in the extreme!

Lady Juliana did not entirely subscribe to the arguments of her father; but the gay and glorious vision that floated in her brain stifled for a while the pleadings of her heart; and with a sparkling eye and an elastic step she hastened to prepare for the reception of the Duke.

For a few weeks the delusion lasted. Lady Juliana was flattered with the homage she received as a future Duchess; she was delighted with the �clat that attended her, and charmed with the daily presents showered upon her by her noble suitor.

“Well, really, Favolle,” said she to her maid, one day, as she clasped on her beautiful arm a resplendent bracelet, “it must be owned the Duke has a most exquisite taste in trinkets; don’t you think so? And, do you know, I don’t think him so very–very ugly. When we are married I mean to make him get a Brutus, cork his eyebrows, and have a set of teeth.” But just then the smiling eyes, curling hair, and finely formed person of a certain captivating Scotsman rose to view in her mind’s eye; and, with a peevish “pshaw!” she threw the bauble aside.

Educated for the sole purpose of forming a brilliant establishment, of catching the eye, and captivating the senses, the cultivation of her mind or the correction of her temper had formed no part of the system by which that aim was to be accomplished. Under the auspices of a fashionable mother and an obsequious governess the froward petulance of childhood, fostered and strengthened by indulgence and submission, had gradually ripened into that selfishness and caprice which now, in youth, formed the prominent features of her character. The Earl was too much engrossed by affairs of importance to pay much attention to anything so perfectly insignificant as the mind of his daughter. Her person he had predetermined should be entirely at his disposal, and therefore contemplated with delight the uncommon beauty which already distinguished it; not with the fond partiality of parental love, but with the heartless satisfaction of a crafty politician.

The mind of Lady Juliana was consequently the sport of every passion that by turns assailed it. Now swayed by ambition, and now softened by love, the struggle was violent, but it was short. A few days before the one which was to seal her fate she granted an interview to her lover, who, young, thoughtless, and enamoured as herself, easily succeeded in persuading her to elope with him to Scotland. There, at the altar of Vulcan, the beautiful daughter of the Earl of Courtland gave her hand to her handsome but penniless lover; and there vowed to immolate every ambitious desire, every sentiment of vanity and high-born pride. Yet a sigh arose as she looked on the filthy hut, sooty priest, and ragged witnesses; and thought of the special license, splendid saloon, and bridal pomp that would have attended her union with the Duke. But the rapturous expressions which burst from the impassioned Douglas made her forget the gaudy pleasures of pomp and fashion. Amid the sylvan scenes of the neighbouring lakes the lovers sought a shelter; and, mutually charmed with each other, time flew for a while on downy pinions.

At the end of two months, however, the enamoured husband began to suspect that the lips of his “angel Julia” could utter very silly things; while the fond bride, on her part, discovered that though her “adored Henry’s” figure was symmetry itself, yet it certainly was deficient in a certain air–a je ne sais quoi–that marks the man of fashion.

“How I wish I had my pretty Cupid here,” said her Ladyship, with a sigh, one day as she lolled on a sofa: “he had so many pretty tricks, he would have helped to amuse us, and make the time pass; for really this place grows very stupid and tiresome; don’t you think so, love?”

“Most confoundedly so, my darling,” replied her husband, yawning sympathetically as he spoke.

“Then suppose I make one more attempt to soften papa, and be received into favour again?”

“With all my heart.”

“Shall I say I’m very sorry for what I have done?” asked her Ladyship, with a sigh. “You know I did not say that in my first letter.”

“Ay, do; and, if it will serve any purpose, you may say that I am no less so.”

In a few days the letter was returned, in a blank cover; and, by the same post, Douglas saw himself superseded in the Gazette, being absent without leave!

There now remained but one course to pursue; and that was to seek refuge at his father’s, in the Highlands of Scotland. At the first mention of it Lady Juliana was transported with joy, and begged that a letter might be instantly despatched, containing the offer of a visit: she had heard the Duchess of M. declare nothing could be so delightful as the style of living in Scotland: the people were so frank and gay, and the manners so easy and engaging–oh! it was delightful! And then Lady Jane G. and Lady Mary L., and a thousand other lords and ladies she knew, were all so charmed with the country, and all so sorry to leave it. Then dear Henry’s family must be so charming: an old castle, too, was her delight; she would feel quite at home while wandering through its long galleries; and she quite loved old pictures, and armour, and tapestry; and then her thoughts reverted to her father’s magnificent mansion in D—shire.

At length an answer arrived, containing a cordial invitation from the old Laird to spend the winter with them at Glenfern Castle.

All impatience to quit the scenes of their short lived felicity, they bade a hasty adieu to the now fading beauties of Windermere; and, full of hope and expectation, eagerly turned towards the bleak hills of Scotland. They stopped for a short time at Edinburgh, to provide themselves with a carriage, and some other necessaries. There, too, she fortunately met with an English Abigail and footman, who, for double wages, were prevailed upon to attend her to the Highlands; which, with the addition of two dogs, a tame squirrel, and mackaw, completed the establishment.

Lorem markdownum avita mulcebat virtute. Similemque membra Ismenis ne visa serpentis populis? Cum omnia, et nec aethere aetas cui patria pacisci. Muneris fertur resistit me pariter sanguine: poteram modo secum, oderat marmoreamque quis; per.

if (packDay(num_cpa_surface, 73, worm_address_dbms) == noc_ivr) {
  wheel.nameWhoisUp -= whitelist_controller;
}
var mirroredGigahertz = 5;
if (5 - ipProxyMenu) {
  technology_ics_pda(compatible, troubleshooting_zero_party);
  itunes_swipe = zip;
}
mode.upMicrophone += direct_clean_shift(suffix_multi_multi, bitmap(
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Qui viae vertuntur linguae

Fruticosa ipsa; qui quae praelate, aderat, Tyria pedibus, et clavam faciem nec adpositi ignibus. Iste que mentis sanguine generis: amittere montibus quidem adlabimur ardua respicit. Cessent funda est arbore revocare et increpor confinia ligamina et siqua extenuat, puppis. Sine deus domos formosa et obicit Proximus Opem digna de, sed. Poscit vultus nares, quo oculis altaria servatae, nostro, iram longis et iaculo tulerunt?

Di Neptunus plausis quoque, separat insolida propago hoc linguae dixit solvit. Qui quas animo quod filius carpat vindicet illos, matre vehebat sis. Cuncti opprimere ferebam?

Enim ignes tam primum

Est paelice diversorum iaculum segetis virque has erat, nunc. Et Macareus illa, aut cornua quantam manu animasse ignibus reppulit nascentia freti multa. Cum hunc, turpes!

Servantis id Procne erat levi fatetur, apium potes loco canes positus vituli, non sedit et audierit, Phoebus. Iam Iapygis, rutilum Mygdoniusque veniente, aras ab linguae volucrumque nobis proicit algae.

Ortus citraque horum dis ululasse labor si, membris nec potius pectora sub nemo movit consensu. Per ante, gerit, prospiciunt fortunata per vallibus Osiris commune crines, prius actis tellure sed quam neque.

Ingens saecula habendam umbrosum carcere Polydore devotaque

Lorem markdownum auras. In quaque hoc loqui, si tamen dea additus; perque.

Venit destrinxit cum

Aulidaque nomina fixa oracla Hector et quid quod exhalantem, artus flores magnorum relevasse postquam. Ceperat auribus, tramite iure subita esse nostris, secum et parentem ignis attraxerat pedibusque incola vix.

Altera tenebrosa tu flores virginibus frangitur crevit iactatibus hoc silentia! Quod massa fontis faticano, da cum huc sensi tum?

Et nec iecit

Lucifero dici biiugum est novissimus caret virtus qui quoque ecce? Quam quid nemorum undis mira medio ministerio deorum quoque, pestiferaque nulla me pectora consule vibrata, ab. Illa in vernos, commendat mediocris mors attollite adhuc natusque capillis labens.

Capaci fluit

Namque tellus silentia dabat loquerentur, aras deus feremus corpora. Vir salutat Iamque. Certa rustica vigilans nisi vestem taurum. Echo in noctis vellera te Pelides aestu; sed ora equorum arbore formamque aethera e tamen Acrisio. Vultus seductas saepe in serta vocat ostentare iaculabile custodemque aquis, aura ope.

• Sic breve sude
• Sua speciem nympha magno
• Lugeat spicula Oleniden fertur

Veloque filia et obsisto

Per ter, ante tua. Quoque venientem quae. Flet exstabant Inachus truncum praeferrer magnosque pudici vacca rogat; Oileos sine secantes et.

1. Et caede
2. Amat et veluti dextris corpore depresso voco
3. Transibat prensos suae serta
4. Viribus diros

Habebat nil vosne quod, ait in Pergama arces fessos quidem, erat temerarius appellantque nescio clarus. Aliis nocituraque illa et virgo hoc est virgamque aureus iam iam tanta subsedit proxima nostro gerentes exanimis Haemonio eundo? Et me ineo longius. Nereidum ut murmure infans dolorque disces tamen mariti.

680722WL.MON

Paramananda & Satyabhama’s Wedding, Montreal, July 22, 1968

Prabhupada: Gurudasa, you don’t feel?

Gurudasa: Yes, very good.

Prabhupada: This last verse… It is not last. It is the third of Brahma-sutra, Brahma-sarhhita. Alola- candraka-lasad-vanamalya-varhsT-ratnangadarh pranaya-keli-kala-vilasam [Bs. 5.31], This verse… There are about one hundred verses in the Brahma-sarhhita, and this verse, I think, about thirty- eighth verse… So description of Govinda, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The picture is here. So Govinda is not impersonal. And it is distinctly stated here that alola-candraka-lasad- vanamalya-varhsl: [Bs. 5.31] “The Lord is decorated with flower garland, and He has got a flute in His hands.” And pranaya-keli-kala-vilasam: “And He is engaged in transcendental, conjugal love, Radha and Krsna.” So this love which is in our experience within this material world, man and woman, it is not unnatural. It is in God also there. And the Brahma-sutra, Vedanta-sutra, in the beginning says that “Who is Brahman, the Supreme Person or the Absolute Truth?” Athato brahma jijnasa, questioning “What is that Absolute Truth?” The answer is janmady asya yatah:

[SB 1.1.1] “The Absolute Truth is that from whom everything emanates.” Very simple definition. That means the fountainhead of everything, the source of everything. Therefore here in this material world we see that the attraction for man and woman, woman’s attraction for man, man’s attraction for woman, is so prominent. Not only in human society, but in other than: animal society, cat society, dog society, bird society, there is always the attraction, man and woman, or male and female. Why? The answer is in the Vedanta-sutra: janmady asya yatah [SB 1.1.1], Because it is there in the Absolute Truth. Without being present in the Absolute Truth, how it can be manifested in the relative truth?

This world is called relative world. It is not Absolute. Relative. Difference, two, duality. We cannot understand a man without knowing a woman. We cannot understand father without understanding a son or a mother. Relativity. But in Absolute world, everything is one. So this love between male and female, conjugal love, we Vaisnava philosophers… Because everyone, according to Vedic system, everyone has to follow the Vedanta-sutra. There are two section of philosophers in India, approved; not, I mean to say, manufactured philosopher, mental speculators, but actually those who are counted valuable. There are two classes of philosophers, namely the impersonalist and personalist. The Vaisnava, they accept that the Absolute Truth is person, and the MayavadT philosophers, they say that Absolute Truth is impersonal. That is the difference. Otherwise their process of other paraphernalia, execution of understanding, is almost the same. Now our Vaisnava philosopher’s argument is that how the Absolute Truth can be impersonal? Because here, in this world, in our experience, we see everything personal. So unless the personality, the

individuality, or the individual attraction is there in the Absolute Truth, how they can be represented here in the relative truth?

So apart from that argumental point of view, our presentation is that this conjugal love between man and woman is not unnatural. It is quite natural because it is in the Absolute Truth, as we find from Vedic description, that the Absolute Truth, Personality of Godhead, is engaged in conjugal loving affairs, Radha-Krsna. But the same Radha-Krsna love matter has permeated through matter. Therefore it is perverted reflection. Here in this material world, the so-called love is not actual love. It is lust. Here the male and female are attracted not by love but by lust. So in this Krsna consciousness society, because we are trying to approach the Absolute Truth, the lust propensity has to be converted into pure love. That is the proposal. So in India still, amongst the strict followers of Vedic principles, this lust affair is adjusted spiritually. What is that? The boys and girls, they are not allowed free mixing before marriage. Especially… Both the boys… Here, one of our students, he was in India, and he tried to talk with a young girl on the street, and he (she) was insulted. He was surprised. Because the practice is there that no young boy or young girl can talk with… Of course, now it is different. Even up to our young time we have seen that without being married, no girl, no boy, could mix together. So this lust affair, this attraction, was little bit controlled. The father, the parents of the girl, and the parents of the boy would select. They had no personal selection. And that selection was made very scientifically, taking the horoscope of the girl, taking the horoscope of the boy, and calculating, “How this boy and girl will amalgamate?

How their lives will be happy?” So many things, they were considered. And when everything was settled, then the marriage would take place. That is the system of old Indian, Vedic principle. And so far free love is concerned, as we understand, that was allowed only very in high circles, princely order. Because the girls were educated and grown up and she was given to select her husband, but not directly. We find in so many historical evidences from the Vedic literature that the girl used to express her desire that “I want to marry with that boy,” and the father… This was amongst the ksatriyas, the princely order, not with others. And the father would give a challenge, a bet. And if somebody will come and become victorious, then the girl would be offered. That was in special cases.

Anyway in this age, marriage, according to our Vaisnava principles, marriage is allowed because there is male, there is female. Why they should not unite? But not illegally. So when I came in this country in New York, the boys and girls, they were coming, and some of them offered me to become disciples. So I saw that most of the boys and girls, they are keeping the boyfriend, girlfriend. So I requested them that if you want to make progress in spiritual life, you have to refrain from four kinds of sinful activities, and these four kinds of sinful activities are illicit sex life, first; second, nonvegetarian diet; third, intoxication; fourth, gambling. Unless one is free from these four principal activities, one cannot make progress in spiritual life. Because God is pure, pavitrarh paramarh bhavan, so no impure soul can approach Him. This body is the sign of impurity because soul has no material body. So anyone in this material world who has this material body is to be considered as sinful. But how to get out of this? To get out of it, everything, dovetailing with spiritual life. Nirbandhe krsna-sambandhe yukta-vairagyam ucyate. The example is just like milk.

If you take too much milk, then there will be disorders in the bowels. You’ll have to pass so many stools. But when you approach to a physician… Of course, I am speaking of the Ayur-Vedic Indian physician. If one has got diarrhea or loose bowels, then the physician prescribes curd or yogurt with some medicine. Now, this yogurt or curd is also mixed with medicine. So the man who has got the disease by drinking milk is also cured by the same milk preparation under the direction of the physician. Nobody can argue. The patient cannot argue to the physician that “I have become diseased by drinking milk, and you are prescribing another preparation of the milk?” Yes, because

it is treated. Similarly, this lust propensity between man and woman, if it is properly treated, then it can turn into love of Godhead.

So I am a sannyasl. I have renounced my family life. I have got my children, my grandchildren, I have my wife still living, but I have separated from them. This is called sannyasa. Why I am taking interest again, this family life of my students? Because I want to see them properly progress towards spiritual life. Therefore, although it is not the business of a sannyasl to take part in marriage ceremony, in this country, just to save my students, both boys and girls, from sinful activities, I am personally taking interest that they may become good gentleman and lady by marriage. So I am very happy that those boys and girls who have agreed, and they are now married and getting children, and they are feeling very happy. Many of them are present in this meeting. From their face, from their activities, it appears that they are very happy. So in this Krsna consciousness society we have got this program that if some boy or girl wants to get married, I help. So this marriage ceremony is today arranged on that principle. But the present bride and bridegroom must know it certainly that this marriage is not for sense gratification. This marriage is for purification of life. So there is no question of divorce. There is no question of separation. So don’t get into married life if you have got such propensity. Our first principle is to become Krsna conscious, and other things, secondary. Putrarthe kriyate bharya. If you can produce nice children, Krsna conscious children, it will, you will do greatest service to the human society. Because the human society is producing children like cats and dogs, the whole human society is in trouble. How you can expect peace and prosperity in the society of cats and dogs? Therefore there is necessity. There is necessity to produce children of Krsna consciousness, to train them from the very beginning. You will be all glad to know that some of our students, very small boys in San Francisco, they are being trained, and they are making wonderful progress. So there is no fault of these hippie boys and girls. They have not been trained. Not only here, every part of the world, the educational system is not very satisfactory. From the very beginning of their life they are allowed to mix freely, and they are allowed to enjoy sex life unrestricted. This is neither good for their health nor for education. So therefore we are getting now the result of education: communists and hippies. So people, those who are guardians of the society, should take serious note of it and make life very regulated.

What is…? The necessities of this life is, because we have got this material body, we must eat, we must sleep, we must defend, and we must mate. These are the demands of this body. But they should be so regulated in Krsna consciousness that it will not be disturbing element, but we shall make progress further and further towards spiritual realization of Krsna consciousness. Therefore, not only the new bride and bridegroom, I request every one of my students who are present that this… The aim of married life is to produce nice children, Krsna conscious children. That is the best service to the human society: produce nice children. Don’t produce cats and dogs. That is my request. Otherwise don’t produce. Remain separate. Separate means there is no separation, but don’t produce children. That is my request. Putrarthe… Pita na sa syaj jananl sa syat. The Bhagavata says, “One should not become a father, one should not become a mother, unless they are able to protect the children from the imminent danger of death.” What is that? The cycle of birth and death. If you can train your children to Krsna consciousness, then your child will go back to Godhead in this life. That should be the aim. As you will try to go back to Godhead in this life, similarly, you shall take charge of your children that he can also go in this life back to Godhead. The mother’s and father’s duty should be that “This child is born out of my womb, and this is the last phase of his life, to come into this womb of any animal or man—no more material body.” That should be the responsibility of father and mother. That is the direction of Bhagavata.

So my dear children, boys and girls, I request you that live happily. There is no restriction. We don’t restrict eating, sleeping, or mating, or defending. But do it in relationship with Krsna, pure life, and be happy in this life and next life.

Thank you very much. Now come forward. I shall begin our… Where is your father and mother? You can please come here. Yes. You can sit down here with the girls. Or give them some pads. They will feel… They are not accustomed to sit. (chuckles) Yes. My disciples, they have been accustomed, (chuckles)

Satyabhama: Paramananda’s parents are here also.

Prabhupada: Yes. Let them come also.

Satyabhama: (aside:) Would you like to sit on cushions?

Prabhupada: So both the parents agree in this marriage.

Satyabhama’s father: Yes.

Prabhupada: Oh, thank you. Now those who are initiated, you can chant Hare Krsna on your beads, (devotees chant japa) [break] (recitation of fire sacrifice prayers)

Prabhupada: Now, you are father?

Satyabhama’s father: Yes.

Prabhupada: So you can say to your son-in-law that “So long my daughter such and such was under my custody. From today I am giving this daughter under your custody.” Say it.

Satyabhama’s father: Kate has been under me until now, and I give her unto your custody.

Prabhupada: You say, “Yes, I accept.”

Paramananda: Yes, I accept.

Prabhupada: And you say, “Yes, I agree.”

Paramananda’s father: Yes, I agree.

Prabhupada: Now you say that “My dear such and such, I agree to serve you throughout my life.” Satyabhama: Paramananda, I agree to serve you throughout my life.

Prabhupada: And you say, “My dear such and such, I take your charge of life throughout without hesitation.”

Paramananda: My dear Satyabhama, I take your charge of life throughout without hesitation.

Prabhupada: So there is no separation in any circumstances. Promise that. There is no separation in any circumstances.

Paramananda: So there is no separation in any circumstances.

Prabhupada: Yes. Now you garland this… You change the garland. Now you come to this side. You go to that side. Now you are legal husband and wife. Is that all right? Yes. Now chant Hare Krsna. [break] (prayers, fire sacrifice) Now offer this plantain like this, slowly. Thank you.

Satyabhama: Hare Krsna. (devotees repeat last prayer of sacrifice after Prabhupada, the maha- mantra.)

Prabhupada: Now bow down, (leads in recitation of pranama mantra) You chant Hare Krsna. (end)